Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
