I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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