we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
