i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
