Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
