this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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