I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
