dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
