At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
