I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
