Yo dont text me then not text me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
