No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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