I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
