I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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