I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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