I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
