I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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