I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
