please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
