GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
