I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
