Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He shit in the fireplace
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
