Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My cat gives me a boner
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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