I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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