Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
