What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
