Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
