operation harelip BJ is a go
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
