Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
