I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
