don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
