Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
