So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
