Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
