i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
