just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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