I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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