If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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