I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
