Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
