And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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