Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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