Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
