margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
