had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
