I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
