Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
