That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
