Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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