Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
