My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
