i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
